Head Table or Sweetheart Table? How to Choose

Where the two of you sit sets the tone for the whole room. There are two classic options at American weddings: the head table, with your wedding party at your side, and the sweetheart table, just for the two of you. Neither is more "correct". They simply solve different problems.

The head table

A long table, usually on one side only and often on a small riser, facing the guests. The couple sits in the middle, flanked by the wedding party.

Who sits there

• The couple, in the center (traditionally the bride on the groom's right)
• The maid or matron of honor next to the bride, the best man next to the groom
• Then the rest of the wedding party, alternating or by side
• Partners of the wedding party: either at the head table too, or at a nearby table

Why couples choose it

• You spend dinner with your closest friends.
• It is a natural stage for toasts, and great for photos.
• It solves the "where do we put the wedding party" question in one go.

The downsides

• Wedding party members' partners often end up at a table of strangers.
• A big wedding party (8+ on each side) means a very long table that eats a whole wall.
• You are in a row, so you only really talk to the person next to you.

The sweetheart table

A small table, often a 30- to 48-inch round or a short rectangle, for just the two of you, placed where everyone can see you.

Why couples choose it

• It is the only moment of the day you get to yourselves.
• Everyone in the wedding party sits with their own partner and friends.
• It removes delicate choices: divorced parents, a very large wedding party, a sibling left out.
• It is easy to decorate beautifully, and it photographs very well.

The downsides

• Some couples feel "on display" or cut off from the party.
• Guests may hesitate to come over and chat during dinner.

A third option: the king's table

Popular at rustic and barn weddings: one long farm table in the center of the room, with the couple in the middle, the wedding party and their partners around them, facing each other. You get the intimacy of a sweetheart table with the company of a head table.

How to decide in 30 seconds

• Big wedding party, lots of partners? Sweetheart table.
• Tense family situation? Sweetheart table: nobody has to sit side by side under the spotlight.
• Small, close wedding party? Head table or king's table.
• Long toasts planned? Head table: speakers are right there.

Where to put the sweetheart or head table

Center it on the longest wall or at the edge of the dance floor, visible from every table. Keep it away from the kitchen doors and the bar line. Then place both families' tables closest to you: parents are the first people you want within sight.

Still counting seats? Here is how many guests fit at each table size.